Friday, October 31, 2008

* . Buddha Works Fast .



So after posting that post I got caught up texting jojo! Ughh and made myself into the REAL hood lol soo had to get back on the bart when I got off I saw an old lady who lives by me she said the bus was too crowded soo she let it go.. Than I asked her what time the next one comes? Than we was interrupted by

"Heyy do u guys wanna carpool?" And I told her why not? Save $$, Come on soo we got in! Look at there..

Buddha knows I'm broke! 5 dollars is the bus fare which I gave the boy so I didn't have to lose 10..I gave w/o the thought that a stranger owes me but the thought that he is putting it to good use

Karma is real, have faith :)

* . Make a Difference, Nigga .


So today I left school early and was on the bart minding my own business when 3 African American boys I'd say about 8 - 12 whom look like they'd been train hopping from cart to cart stop in front of me...okay so what comes to mind?

Since I said African American they thugs?
Ooo no wait my personal face "watch them they up to no good"
They finna rob somebody?

WRONG ANSWERRR!

"Excuse me miss would you like to give a donation to help my school basketball team go to the championship, its 5 - 20 dollars but god bless you I will take any donation"

Yes my bank is whipped out but wtf I'm from the worst of all worst slums in oakland and it seems that soo was these 3 boys . All the white people on the bart ignored and acted like they were deaf even on lady standing with a magazine stopped reading as if these boys were gon' jack her wallet out her dangling and open purse. Even a mixed black lady rejected to help she was a business suit leaving outdo san francisco I would believe she had more than I had. But yeah when he asks me to sign and realize he has no pen she let's him "Have" Hers? Once I helped the boys one other lady (white) decided to give.

The white man sitting next to me even ignored the kids ask for a pen and when I reached over his newspaper to give my $$ he continued to red it fucking dick ass! Another thing the kid was legit he waited in one spot until I signed his paper he didn't leave nor put my $$ in his pocket!

What I get out of Studying Buddhism : give with the thought of never getting back, for say the thought of giving and the blessing of their happiness and their success is your return. Expect great things not tangible, more like longer lifetivity and self value.. (Just my in take)

So I gave 5 dollars towards a 4th graders basketball championship and I also feel like a better person, support youth and our own cities is a big deal! Yeah I'm into fashion but I also wanna help the kids with my success! Opening up after school programs music buildings performing art schools all visual things..I care about the kids and seeing people from where I'm from succeed...I guess that's just me than?

And now when blogging this nigga gets irritated cause I'm typing on my blackberry its not my fault I donate and can still afford class :) more room for me...bitchassness die hard!!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

* . Game on take II PT 1 .

soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, lol
i def have been slacking i must admit that i didnt really quite take the challenge too seriously!! yiikess!! if you read my Game On from my other blog!! i really just had forgot that i even posted or even was deciding to do it until i just went threw my archive :( ahhh boo mee..but,

ive been stressed out from school && work or should i say work && school!!? my mom and them says it looks like im losing weight (yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh rite!!) im flipping bingin out on Burger king && Grande Grande Frappicinos from starbucks..tho i havent made my way to cold stones yet ;) im really suprised : D LOL...cause im usually always wanting me some strawberry gronola cheesecake something coldstone...its the strawberry one tho lol on the menu...

but i kinda wanna take some me time and refocus on this thing in its entirety!! so thats why im posting the Game On take II!! yesss!! i am here and ready to do it!! yessss! i am here and bout tired of not being able to fit them damn cute clothes that lindsay lohan or rihanna can lol...soo im giving up the damn burger king (even tho, i didnt really like them until school started) and ima drink starbucks in moderation LOL well hey i can knock it down to my cheat days? at least...

but anyways the truth is i can do it!! and i pretty much am..specially with basketball comming back out yeee! opening day bay are OCT 29TH!! sooooooooo get juiced lol cause i am!! anyways back to this game on, diet post...im still tryna go and cop' me another buddhism book so maybe i can learn my mistakes now and correct them!! while i still have a tummy lol ahahahaha im sleepy right now..so thats why i made this a pt1 i will post another one prob after my nap or from my blackberyy yayyyy!!

ps.


who is this supermodel type chick!? ooooo wait that's no supermodel that is rihanna...damn what a heck of a diet plan..i mite have to leave that kimk challenge alone and hop on board to SS Fenty! cause she looks sooo great...the menu is real bland...no Lindsay Lohan "consuming on Cantelope juice" but its barely close! Lemon water x Pineapple for Breakfast...Egg whites x Carrotts throughout the day & fishh for dinner...that sounds soo asian to me! minus well eat sushi for dinner! and we shall try this for a month! and i bet you will see some drastic changes!!

P.S. do not take my word before your physicians word!! i am nothing but a blogger and expressing my ideas...what may be good for Rihanna may not be good for YOU!! every body is different and should be treated in a healthy matter!! if you are overweight please seek help from your doctor before you go hollywood crazy like Rihanna has said "when your in the spotlight everything seems so good" [ Questions Exsisting... ] so please be at your own risk!! and tell a friend your thoughts just an case something goes wrong someone will know!!

stay safe <33>

PP.S. but for somebody who stays in and out of burger king popeyes kfc and mcDonalds she sure is showing it WELLL!! (meaning wtf, shes not - FAT!) <<< lol















ooooooo sooo i guess my moms was right burger king can make a nigga shed some pound LOL









Monday, October 27, 2008

* . Hudson family .

stop the press,
this shit is soo sad - show or give no mercy to the person behind this shit..
and god bless the two hudsons sisters cause i know it hit them the hardest their mother and child/nephew is losted as well as their brother...

WTF is the world comming to?

Sunday, October 26, 2008

* . Happy Birthday .

mannn October birth some pretty cool people i guess lol - cause the coolest month is JULY ;D ...but anyways today october 26th happens to be..

my kid sister birthday



and also my future husband lol [yess thats monta nucckas!]



also happy belated to my Paris Hilton [ oct 17th ] <223>

Saturday, October 25, 2008

* . Whaa .



Ughh so I didn't sleep until 1O I believe cause I got home @ 7 ishh after the bart was held for about 20 mins for "official police business" so when I got on I turned the tv 3million times while eating my sppe'gettii lol and I fucking got to see the hip hop awards and my 2 fave rappers (TI and LUda) omg! These niuckas killed the bizz I must admit like 3000% they some bad bad bitches lmao I aint even lyin well after they went off I cut off the tv (no hw, no fone) just bed..I tossed and turned like 678 times I don't even member getting sleep but I do remember waking up arrgg! Anyways my job scheduled me for 6am after an all day of school :( which would be cool if I drove? Yeahh soo I tell my job all the time that I don't drive nor can I work tues thurs and fri (cause I got school) but it just seems like I'm spending more on them than I'm getting return.. And wasting my time and breath. So I'm def looking forward to getting a new JOB..I got 6 applications all pay 10 + an hour "yeee" lmaoo

Soo anyways I took the damn taxi (real LA club status) which came at 456 instead of 5 and I thought I was gon at least be at work at 530 but sheeiit I'm here now with weak ass john (the one who keeps scheduling me on my fucking school days and who losted my schedule 3xs) so when I get in the damn taxi this shit starts at 2 dollars soon as I sit in! And the oldest arab dude is like driving LA rush hour speed on a 5am sat morning everybody sleep but me road? So when I finally get there the shit adds up to 11 bucks which would be cool if I told my job "yoo! I got up @ 6am to go to school didn't get out till 6pm but nothing would make me more happy than to come in @ 6am" but its actually not bad? Cause I'm not sleepy but I do have truckloads of HW.and I bet this week schedule will be a piece of shit! Ill post it when it comes out..

buddhhaa please spare me some of your meditation, puhlezz?

Friday, October 24, 2008

* . 55 Stockton Street Dreams .



Can you spare some change? Cause I'm tryna get somewhere but my vans won't take me I just thought it would be nice to paint the world a different color than it is now. Some how its still hard to believe there's still people with no idea about what life is C'mon what's the worth of breathing if your unfamiliar with Life? There's still people whose consider weird because they think outside the L7. I mean right now is the time I'm more curious than ever I've been experimenting getting tattoos (believe me I want one now as I'm typing this lol) reading up on buddhas spiritual sayings (the dude is soo deep in the higher meaning like on not stressing and living your life) there's also been a slow decrease in my shoe buying days :( (ima have to fix that asap'y) I don't know I'm just growing into my own being and the fact that I have a job yet I'm DUMBASS BROKE so therefore I can't get what my body urges for...ima need rehab before I run out and get a credit card and blow the roof off a mothafucka lol..



But lately as for me I'm still striving school is def a handful and it feels like a hunnerdmilleean things that I have to do an or is looking forward to doo...blahhh! And my job don't understand I need my off days for doing homework and more sooo SLEEP :( I am soo damn tired I wake up @ 4 or 5 to catch a bus @ 621 to be to the bart by 630 or 7 just to make it to school on time which is 8 and on fridays I'm here all damn day :( meaning 8am to 7 or 8pm :'( and tomorrow my job making me go in at 6am ooo sheez fidm kids taking 6 classes know what I'm talking about! I'm not complaining cause this is what I wanna do and where I wanna be I just need time management cause I've been procrastinating and its been killing me soo far I think ima work 2 days hmm...school Tues Thurs & Friday work sat sun mon weds so where does that leave homework :( where does that leave me times? Shit the job aint my top priority but money kinda is...but that 26 grand makes school my top priority! Soo I met have to work just sat & Weds? Or sat & mon?



Anyways I'm sooo in love with my blackberry and this funky new inspector gadget lookin case I have on it lol my new fave thing is to post my blogs in the car while listening to 94.9 wild jam :) hehe its kinda bomb shiiet since I don't listen to my house radio and both ipods are kapessh and my blackberry battery will be drained with the media player running!



Song I'm listening to now : My life your entertainment - TI feat. Usher

Ps. Looks like ima be a little late lady today :( the bus came early today and I missed it yikers 1st class is @ 8

Thursday, October 23, 2008

* . Just a little Courtesy .

When is it right and when is it wrong? Respect is always KEY!! Whether its in getting what you want or if its in giving something.. Soo I am on the bart and I am realizing how some people don't know the true meaning of respect everyday I live school during rush hour and its always packed for those of you whom have never rode a bart!



Kids like me feel it is an common courtesy to get up and give every elder our seat if we are closer to the exit (so its not much walkin on their behalf) or if there are no more seats. But what happens if they make a big deal like "wtf I don't need your seat" believe me cali people are soo rude! When is it right or when is it wrong?



Once instance that just occurred : a black elderly man asked a white woman or girl (can't tell age because I am in the back of her) sitting in the handicap front seats if he could have her seat hes obviously tripping and her elder cause I don't believe he would ask an old woman to get up? She plays def and ask him 3OO thousands times huh? Like I took it as if she was in disbelief cause the common curtesy is to get up when you see an elder that's being polite right or showing your respect she as one didn't budge soo an african american woman got up and let him have her seat, wtf america.

Another instance that just took place :
I got on the bart and sat by the window and held my fidm bag in my lap leaving a seat occupied because it is PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION not my car or vehicle. The stop I got on wasn't crowded so an african american boy about my age (19) sat next to me. The next stop let 5 million people aboard the milbrane bart the guy next to me (such an respectful young man, I should've got his name) ask a white woman did she want to sit down she replies "no" I guess because the bart was too crowded and she wasn't in Dyer need of a seat (meaning she isn't crippled or elderly) when the next stop comes people get off and a seat becomes available She says "excuse me" to the white guy next to her (which is standing by my seat) and walks to the row in front of me (the empty seat) but an elderly man sits down before her so the guy next to me gets up an I ask her "do you want to sit down" she smiles and let out a small "yes" and she says "excuse me" and passes the white guy again to sit next to me. The guy standing up let out a sigh like "wtf hurry up an get situated" which would of been cool if it was his car or if he owned america or some other weak shit this woman obviously getting off work wearing heels and carrying a big ass designer bag almost weighing the same or more than her not saying that's an excuse but damn can you at least not be that obvious with being rude? There's better ways to express your angry - try blogging ;) . But seriously if you want to sit down get there early or shit get your own daMn car, cause its always said "ladies, first". But when the guy got off I told her "I'm sorry for pushing my buttons for so long and that I was blogging" and she was like "no that's cool what are you blogging about" and I said nonchalantly "about this whole bart situation and how rude he is" not caring if he was still there or not, and she said "yeah he was soo rude I thought he was going to get me" wtf america. How can you or why should you ever feel fear someone you dont know?



Also this fucking mind blowing idiot huffed and puffed because I guess he really wanted to sit down but an asian lady no older than her 2Os asked him if she could sit there instead of him sitting (which she just told me it was because she is pregnant, and you can actually see her baby bump!!) He "arrgg" and "grrr" at her like she was asking him for 1OOO bucks.. she told me that she was scared and thought she had did something which she hadn't she's carry bodies right now and the way the bart throw you and she respectfully asked notice how I said asked! Because most people won't, its sooo crazzyy! She said "I over heard you said you were blogging about this and I wanted to let you know that its because I'm pregnant" I was like "what? That fucking lame messed with you too?" And she replied "yes, I was scared that he was going to beat me up or something" wtf america.

Ass holes like this should really invest some bucks to supply there own transportation knowing that you are not friendly and that you have to sit smell and be friendly to almost 100 or more different kinds of people. We need a no Bitchassness Law foreal, there's no need life is short. And now and days the kids aint the ones acting up grown ups is too!

So with that said please, please! Let's teach our kids to pay all respect to people like Elders Pregnant woman or just people who looks like they have been having a stressful day. Even if they blow you off, at least you showed respect. Also don't be a bitch cause karma will find YOU!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

* . Ella Ella a a .



so wtheck, ive been obsessed with rihanna since 2005 [when she came out] and i have never stopped liking her..you know theres some artist like theyll come out release a good hit you buy their cd and its like bullshit?! yeah please excuse my french but i am speaking nothing less that the truth, idk how she does it but she know exactly what we want to hear. you can put in any one of her cds and listen to the whole thing straight through, me being a fan for so long i know like the whole tracklistings to her cds and shit, lol..it actually seems weird because im one year younger than her so im like eww why the hell am i acting like an obssessss`d fan?! wtf im almost her age but the truth of the matter is she has everything that i want!! shes living my effin dream life and it sucks ass shits!! but i love little miss fenty!! and im not wishing her nothing more or less than the best of success!! shes been holding it down and its about time the world was introduced to someone that can put beyonce in her place ;D hehe besides solange!! i mean we do have the haters [okay theres some for everybody, whose doing better than anybody] sure theyll say well "rihanna cant sing" and half of them cant sing themselves but the point is she is making bank..ooo well "shes ugly" mmkay and your not the one shes kissing Chris Brown is..shes fucking impeccable a trendsetta and shes showing everybody its okay to be you and its okay to not care. the reason i like her so much is cause shes showing us that she is only human shes soo real, soory to use beyonce as another example but i gotta :( lol she is a cool entertainer but when it comes to personallity she suxs!! she acts 87 like shes soo stuck up and soo grown and when rihanna comes she has so much life shes showing us that she is still robyn despite the fame and or the $$$ . other reason why i like her..



  1. we both are the same height but she possess this confidence about being tall that i wish i had .
  2. she has a bomb ass style or a bomb ass stylist either way she looks good on her off days .
  3. she is in the fashion business, [she models], and it is said that she is releasing her own lingerie line with Victoria Secrets..!
  4. believe it or not she has power, everybody is waiting for her next move.
  5. okay okay, i must admit even tho i dont find chris brown a little bit attractive them two together is attractive and you cant lie.



damn robyn. please tell me what is your secrets?!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

* . I Live in the "GHETTO" .

so sure going to FIDM sounds like AMAZING right?! but it can also have its downs!

Like the fact that its a WHITE dominated school, yess I said it is White dominated because the fact that the race population is sooooo big that they start to think that they own the school, or just because you black you cant afford that school?

well this is what happened exactly Thursday [1O.16.O8] in my Sketching class,

Me : Whats up LC?!
Lauren Conrad : heyyy aha

[yes, her name is actually Lauren Conrad, and yes she goes to FIDM with me, and yes she iss studying fashion, what a cowinkydink?!]

somehow The Hills moved to The Hood,
with this snoobby white b[bleep]h [im sorry but I dont like High Sididdy type of people] she was saying how she moved from Los Angeles campus to our campus how she asked about Lauren Conrad and nobody had anything good to say about her and how she only showed up to school when she wanted to film and how she was at a club with Lauren "Lo" Bosworth and how she was rude how she lived everywhere from westwood to downtown LA and how that campus was "GHETTO" and in "THE HOOD" and how "BLACK" guys can rape you an some other pointless ish,




some 35yr old white woman that sits next to me replies with : Oh yeah I live in the ghetto I live right in Richmond its soo freaking hood!

now wait seeing how I am and was the only AFRICAN AMERICAN [cause black doesnt fit the fact that I am part of the USA, so maybe i'll add the american part] person in that room how am I supposed to feel?! I just had to outta all this shit im sitting back and taking in say : Look man dont be talking about my hood.

seeing how I was raised in the bay area [Born right in East Oakland Ca and Raised in West Oakland Ca and TRUST ME I wouldnt go back and change it for nothing in the world!!] she may have thought I was joking but I wasnt...

so she replies : Nahh, I like being in the "Hood" it makes me seem tough?! haha



what the hell type of white talk is that?! now what happens if I was to say : Ooh well I like being in the suburbs or the white neighbor hoods it makes me feel like a pedifile or some other dumb type of shit..what gives them the right to try and justify whats right or wrong? Whats Hood and whats Black, Just like we cant Justify whats what for them...I wanna know who woke up in the morning and made WHITE Judgement more powerful than BLACK?! it might be a different shade but its the same body it might hurt me this time but its the same feelings!! we are alike so there should be no need to put yourself on a High pedistal because believe me baby your sure to fall and your ego will not catch you, AND NO THIS DID NOT MAKE ME WANNA DROP OUT OF FIDM IT JUST MADE ME WANT TO WORK HARDER GRADUATE AND MAKE MY $$$ LIVING SO SOONER THAN LATER I WILL BE LIVING BETTER THAN THEM :)




since ive been listening to TI cd since it came out I minus well leave you with this : Seems as though you lost sight of what’s important with the positive....Your values is a disarrayed, prioritized is horribly. Unhappy with the riches cause you piss-poor morally. Ignoring all prior advice and fore warning. And we might be full of ourselves all of a sudden aren't we?
[ T.I. Featuring Rihanna - Live your Life]

Sunday, October 5, 2008

* . Candy paint dreams .

Life is like a box of crackers or should I say chocolates like forest would?



Everybody is wanting this or that or hating on someone instead of apprieciating and acknowledging and tryna be on their level . Like TI said "we needa stop hating, and start being thankful for what we have." Like on "Mediatakeout" almost everybody on there seems so bitter and have no self worth.. If there's a Rihanna post there's always "OMG she has a big head" mmkay we've heard that before how about her millions of albums being sold or the fact that there is a Rihanna day or "Ciara is a man" but she's a successful model "Chanel Iman is skinny ughh" but she is idolized and on the cover of itilian vogue and one of the only black models who is still on the runway even Solange gets the "ughh she can't dress..she looks like a drag version of beyonce" when Solange wrote half of beyonce & destiny's child shit "Soulja Boy can't rap" and so the fuck what? He is making $bank$ producing and looking DAMN GOOD WHILE DOING IT but yet somehow somebody like Beyonce is idolized and she doesn't even wanna be black she claim her recent loreal picture is her real skin color? She's obsurd and feel bad and "no comment" but yet the ad hasn't been removed? And now there's a COMMERCIAL and she's creole never black but CREOLE . Now and days BLACK IS UGLY . We have men praising Kim Kardashian with her silycOn assests ( lips ass & tits ) but a black women with the same shit either isn't cute or is treated like a jump off .majority of NBA & NFL has white or foriegn women . Black can't seem to get you to far... And black is Fading to WHITE.



Just friday this man was hanging from a tree down the street from my house . Not hanging like a child from a branch, but swinging non chanatly by his neck . What the Fuck, when did cali stoop so low as of to become a black hole to hell...I never in my 19 years of living thought I would or could see some shit like that .like really explain to me.... What is the world becoming .




So my song of the moment will have to be John Mayer - Waiting on the World 2 Change





Friday, October 3, 2008

* . FIDM brat .

so it has been awhile since i posted my last post,
i have been sooooooooo busy caught up with school work && working [ it is no joke! ]
sooo since ive been OFFICIALLY a fidm brat has things changed?! hell no!! im still same ol` still working and still striving to FUFILL MY DREAMS && find out what i am destined to be!! today i was at ross and this loss prevention guy took my bags [ because i didnt wanna carry them ] and when i came back this dude walked up on me [ the loss prevention guy ] and asked me what was i going to be...and i simply replied "a fashion designer" and he said is that your portfolio? and i was like no an organizer, and he said thats good at least you being something maybe one day your clothes will be in here and i said "no i wont my own store" and he said oo bwalla! and thats when i felt moree excitied and most anticipating schooooll!!





but ive been realizing i have stayed the same since high school it seems, same height, same weight, same hair, only thing that changed is me having tattoos now! and my age... i desperately wanna change!! i wanna find myself, specially cause i found the path to my dreams..i feel like im living a lie like that rihanna && dream song..but i know ima find it on my college venture!




i was thinking of cutting my hair like rihannas yall know how much ilHer if not well i do since o5 [ no homo ] tho i dont need to say, cause im 1thou straight.. because since i can remember i have been shy!! and >:o i hate it specially since i am starting college and im becoming a grown woman, i feel with my hair short i wont be able to hide, since i am 5'9 1/2 and i will have no reason to be shy! like starting a new life..i was reading a magazine and rihanna was like "im still finding myself maybe this is a phase i wont know until its over" and thats sorta how i feel but i dunt wanna tat up my whole body before i can find me..i just want to clear my canvass and start brand nu.





well anyways it is Friday 10.3.o8 and school starts 1o.o6.o8 [ tuesday!! ]
enough of my blabbing illl hit u more when school starts

THE BLOG FORMLY KNOWN AS FIDM-DIARIES

good girl gone bad .
the cities filled w/them .

Hince the:
Glitter, Bullet .
Cutest, Bang .

Weekly Quote

"When I let go of what I am , I become what I might be ."- Lao Tzu





this is me

cali product . fidm student . music junkie . art lover . multi talent . tattoo addict . open to everything . world muse . buddha follower . married to laughing . vintage hunter .

Sum Gnarly Ishh!

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