(Just now via. Myspace)

mannn , boo i haven't been on here since last year :-/
maybe i've been in denial so much that's why it juss hit me every time..i love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu so much and today i've been and i cant stop crying! (( though i really shouldn't be right?? )) its alot easy for people to comfort you with that but its still super hard...
but even though im crying BELIEVE ill keep pushing for the both of us ;)

today marks a year since my little angel went back home,
seems like yesturday but i guess im really that strong!
i miss us laughing at every damn thing,
and you being on myspace im or aim everytime i logged in...
the biggest impact is the one we never see coming,
we are so blinded and caught in our moment..
i smile alot more to carry your legacy,
even if not by birth you are forever a part of me
live on boo, i love you!
Desiree "Dezzy" Davis (6/27/92-9/07/09)

* . Jasmina vs Rihanna .

It has been a month since Jasmina's passing. Still not even a card or text message from Rihanna. Did she use my child for a publicity stunt? (via @ONEFORJASMINA)

Uh doing much? Seeing how her twitter picture is of her daughter & Rihanna. Also, Rihanna was not the only celebrity to help. Rihanna also issued a statement sending condolence. I understand how she could want Rihanna there with her but Rihanna was there initially for the child (her fan) & giving her, her Last wish. This time & year Jasmina died marked the 1year of her domestic violence abuse maybe she's going through a lot. You can't expect a person to give you everything, its their life she's human too.

Sometimes in life you do have to put yourself first, no matter who you are. Its kind of scandalous to blast her, before knowing. We all know Rihanna is kind & caring.

rest in peace - Alexander McQueen

* . One in a Million .

happy birthday to the beautiful and talented Aaliyah Dana Haughton





she was living proof that angels do exist!

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.”

Happy Birthday Sir, we owe you soo much words can not even express! thank you for allowing us to have PEACE and a FREE LIFE.

Hope everyone enjoys their 4day weekend, and try to do something that would make Mr. King happy!

* . Neglected .

sorry i havent really been around.

september was the worst month for me by far...i lost one important person in my life my little boo Desiree "Dezzy" Davis to street violence. i know i probably posted about her here before when it was her birthday or even tweeted about her tryna drag me to lil waynes concert LOL..but i love my little boo..she had just turned 17 on june 27th and was a senior at Oakland Tech High school..she was one of the reason i use to laugh none stop! now my world is semi incomplete i dont want to go out i feel bored all the time..i never have passion anymore.

i just havent been myself alot lately, idk its like ive closed back up..but im slowly and surely making my way back to normal.

also in september, my moms dad passed away like one week after Dezzy. his funeraly was 3 days before hers. so i just have been dealing with alot. i wont dwell in this subject because my wounds are healing..AND I AM FINE :) everyone heals differently.

in october school started back :) only 2 more weeks left! man i havent blogged all quarter its kind of scary lol! but i only took 3 classes this quarter (late registration) and they were actually pretty cool! bus. of fashion, english, history of western art II. alot of work but it has been worth it!

and i see i stopped posting in July, so i have to tell you in August i started working for Cal Bears :) and it was amazing! the season is over and the boys did good and i hope everything with jahvid is going better since the season is over.

but sorry for neglecting you all..THE WAIT IS OVA :)
IM BACKKKK lol

* . Mistah Fag .

Mistah Last.
Mistah Over done.
Mistah only famous in Oakland.
Mistah stfu and get signed by a real label and no bay shit.
Mistah 3 cds sold.
Mistah damn when you gon retire?

anywho..no wonder there is still racism, and why we [as a race] are still being looked down upon as people. so im on twitter holding down my charities page and i see a girl on my follower list whom have been sending messages to mistah fab. so i decided to go on his page, seeing how once upon a time i supported him or liked him. and i see a bunch of twitts that i didnt get. yeah..sure i raised my eyebrow but damn this nicca was really ranting. 1. i only thought my bitch ass x boyfriend had bitch fits/bitch tantrums. 2. wait he didnt..ohhh yes he did!! mistah fab [some of yall may not know him because he is a nobody] was taking levells side. he tried to throw that what the mayors dont speak at "our" funerals. wait what has mistah fab done for us as a nation? and when did he get the right to talk for us? and if this was a race thing if levell or however you spell this niccas name was somebody worth a praise or 2 you know damn well this nicca would get it. oakland is not a shady place, california is not evil, and this situation is not racist at all. so fuck the POLICE BRUTALLITY! excuse you is saying or trying to use on your little twitter page. why do some people hold grudges and say oh well the police do this..come on you from the same damn place im from OAKLAND you the same race i am AFRICAN AMERICAN..and i feel aint shit wrong! these cops are the same cops your mother calls when her house catches on fire. or when your grandmother is getting robbed in her house. the same cops who comes to your signings when only 10 people show up. not all police are evil, and not all actions are bad. these cops did their job and was killed for nothing so im saying mistah fab knows the reason he raped a 12yr old girl, or why he had a weapon and shot these cops through their helmet in their jaw and neck, than fled changed weapons and shot 2 swat. yeah we are waiting for your reply. and why would the mayor speak at a rapist funeral "oh well he was a damn good racist getting all the young wet pussy"?! i mean come on these people have morals. i could see actually if this dude did something IMPORTANT and he was KILLED FOR NO REASON and he was just BOTHERED FOR NO REASON. but no this guy was an evil person not minding his own damn buisness! maybe you should check your facts and re-think and stop smoking or whatever you do because you have mentally dis-beilieving problems.

why would the Atheletes, Rappers, help you? this shit is so hilarious..i am so through with him and his wack ass music.

why is this nicca pounting on twitter!!!
i cant believe this shit, he has headaches and feel like crying over this dude!!
wtf?! is he serious?

and than he adds the family cant pay for the funeral...well maybe since he has so much "remorse for what transpired" he needs to give a donation.

I AM OFFICIALLY NOT A FAN OR LISTENING TO ANYTHING ELSE THAT HAS TO DO WITH MISTAH wac.

http://twitter.com/MistahFAB

* . Oakland Police .

like i promised you, i shall deliver you with :). i indeed got out and saw the police memorial. i had to get out by myself and pay my dues to the officers whom help keep me alive and safe since the day i was born [since i was born in Oakland]. it was actually a good site, not at the apartment, but across the street. and while i was there a Santa Clara cop car pulled up with two officers whom got out in uniform to pay dues. 4 non uniformed cops came in a SUV with a uniformed cop. and also a Mexican citizen came and did his cross on the face, knelled and prayed.

the last picture i took today :) [save the best for last]..


the 4 police that showed up [is shown to the left with the shades], the tallest one is the one in uniform...

the Mexican man who gave praise to the officers...[peep the gold skinny jeans and the obama shirt lmfao]

some flowers, candles, kids work, [and a orange lol]..

some balloons, more work done by citizens and a lot of kids :) [big ups to the kids, yall!!]

some more work, and two of the officers pictures [Sgt. Mark Dunakin, 40 - John Hege, 41]

the 4 fallen angels of Oakland, Ca. Sgt. Mark Dunakin, 40, and Sgts. Ervin Romans, 43, and Daniel Sakai, 35, John Hege, 41.

the whole memorial area from the left view.

4 half risen flags for the 4 officers..

more of the flowers..

Left to right John Hege, 41, and Sgts. Ervin Romans, 43, and Daniel Sakai, 35, and top right is Right to left is Sgt. Mark Dunakin and Officer John Hege

the view of the memorial from the right side..

self explanatory, 74th and MacArthur where the shootings took place across the street from the apartment..

another left side view..[the news made me nervous! i bet not be on tv LOL!]

more of the memorial, rest in peace guys.

PS. while i was there i asked was that the apartment across the street to a black lady, and she informed me that they said it was. i saw a lot of balloons and pictures and i thought it was more for the police so me and her went to look. i was really shocked to see at the site of the apartment, the police was not being mourned but the killer was. the guy whom raped 6 i believe including a 12yr old girl. the guy whom skipped 4 parole dates. the guy whom was riding around in a bullet proof vest. the guy whom was riding with a fire arm [gun]. the guy whom shot two motorcycle police whom was doing they job. and than walked up to them and shot them in their heads while they were already dying. the guy whom than fled on foot across the street to his sisters. the guy whom than pulled out an AK and shot through a closet. yes, they praised him and made him look holy. they also had black panther pictures up. seeing how he's black and the cops were white they are going to make it a racial issue..HMM I AM BLACK! AND I FEEL DEVASTATED FOR THE OFFICERS AND THEIR FAMILY. AND THE OAKLAND POLICE DEPARTMENT.

funeral is taking place tomorrow @ Oracle arena [home of the golden state warriors raiders and A's] 1800 people was said to attend freeways will be closed and people will be let in @ 9:00 am. please plan accordingly and please show respect.

* . Poor California .

Sorry i have not been posting or anything lately, but in case you have not heard or if you dont watch the news [like me ;)] just this past weekend 4 of my hometowns [Oakland, Ca] police men were shot and killed on the scene. the police and oakland swatt team were pursuing a petifile whom had raped a 12yr old girl and was violating parole. he did have a warrant out for his arrest. he than shot 2 motorcycle cops at one intersection in east oakland, and pursued on foot to his sisters house where he than got an ak and shot 2 more police officiers. the guy lavell than was shot. i dont really want to get into the details right now because i will be posting another post tomorrow with pictures of the sites.

i will actually be going to the 2 different spots and maybe even oracle [:(] to show my support and love to the families and the 4 cops whom was lost to us on saturday. its sickening and sad to see such stuff happen like this, and when i tend to tell people where im from its like a constant joke "hehe your a thug" no im honestly not. i may have a tiny itsy bitsy piece of keyshia cole in me but i tend to act like a lady always! but what this man did was truly un word-able, you can say "the police mess with black people" or what not but this man raped a 12yr old girl, and violated parole so they had a reason to pursue him.

:( - i understand oracle is a big spot but sheeez please do not mess up my experience in getting closer to my husband and enjoying my games!! lol yall know im terrified of dead bodies and all that aftermath crap..

but please keep the police families in you prayers.
as well as..

the city of oakland [we were bad with polices and seeing how they are being shot off..]
the oakland police department
and the citizens of the neighborhood where this took place

* . Oh My .

poor natasha (actress, mom from lindsay lohan's parent trap) dies from her skiing accident. she was 45 years young and very beautiful! and had an amazing accent [which i love ;)P] god bless her family and friends at there time of loss.